The media makes us believe that this all goes without saying, that it is a question of 'happiness'. Or that it is possible for everyone thanks to a few simple recipes. Every day we are overwhelmed with messages about how we can belong to this 'select' group. And we really would like to believe that...
Based on my personal story, you can read what I have done to become a healthy, happy and entrepreneurial woman.
My dream to become beautiful and slim
As a little girl I dreamed of being slim and beautiful and especially having enough money later to always be able to wear beautiful clothes. I looked up at all the sporty and handsome girls in my class and thought those girls were better and more talented than myself.In no way did I believe that I could belong to this group. After all, I came from a family where my mom had to fight for every penny and I considered myself stupid.
Despite my inferiority complex, over time, I realized that I could be proud of it.
I learned my first 'good habit' at the age of eleven and this was to rinse my breasts with ice-cold water every morning. Because according to my mom this would help getting firm breasts when I was older.
What you give attention grows or improves ... and yes, 39 years later I still do this and I'm very grateful that I have followed her wise advice.
This was my first step in creating good habits. The fact that I make a few minutes every day to apply this ritual - even though I do not feel like it and certainly not in the winter - has given my self-confidence a boost.
My first small successes
Because of this first step, I believed I could do other things that would help me feel better. I started to pay more attention to my body and my health. So I started running on my twentieth birthday. First ten minutes, three times a week. When I managed to do this, I went a step further.As a child, I hated sports because I was obese and didn't believe I could do this. Incidentally, I was always the last of the class when we had to walk around the sports field during the gymnastics lessons. Silently I managed to run further and further, and started the miss the feeling when skipping a run. Running strengthened my self-image and I quietly found myself in a positive spiral.
These little successes have given me energy and self-confidence to do more and that's how I started to eat healthy.
Now, thirty years later, I walk an average of 60 km per week, at around 12 km/h, and I weigh 10 kg less than at the age of twenty. That may not be spectacular in itself, but for me it is. Because by teaching myself these good habits, I have grown into someone with much more self-confidence and this also had an important impact on my further professional life.
I learned that I could also grow into someone healthy, happy and successful and that this was not only reserved for the happy few. I have learned that nothing comes automatically and that 99% of those who are successful, have to work for it. But if you learn step by step to build some good habits, it will eventually become a second nature.
Realize your dream one step at a time
Creating these good habits is equivalent to' self-discipline'. Doing things that are good for you, whether you like it or not. You just have to do this. See it as a kind of muscle you develop. The more you teach yourself to incorporate good habits into your daily life, the easier it will be for you to continue to do so.We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn
Step by step, day after day, month after month, year after year. Just keep on persisting, even when it is a bit more difficult. Because every time you do an act of discipline, your self-confidence grows, you generate more energy and will spontaneously radiate more. And whether this is about your diet or learning money management to build up solid finances, the basic method is always the same.
The great thing about this phenomenon is that by booking these small successes you will automatically attract more success. So you end up in a positive spiral, you unconsciously radiate more self-confidence. And this also has a positive effect on your thinking. After all, you have learned to develop and sustain willpower.
Every act of discipline is directly linked to your self-confidence. And the stronger your self-image, the better your performance.
And this is the most important component in realizing your dream. I compare it to climbing a mountain. You start the journey, you feel good, you look at the beautiful top. On the other hand, you realize that you may encounter obstacles, or that the weather conditions may suddenly change. And maybe you'll find it very taxing. But because you've learned to develop willpower and to tackle this step by step, because you have learned to believe in yourself and hang in, you will not be bothered by these toughts. You will keep looking at the summit and will reach it, even if it takes more time.
Live life to the fullest
Because you learn what it means to build self-discipline, you will be able to enjoy other moments in life all the more. This is just as fantastic.I can enjoy a glass of champagne or a delicious meal myself a lot more when I've worked out or have performed at the office. The experience is much more intense. And this is the way it always works, for everything in life.
Because of my intense professional life, I have to make very conscious choices and I can hardly ever accept private invitations. But if I do choose to party, I always have loads of fun.
Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself to be able to fully experience and appreciate what life offers you.
You too can grow into a happy and successful person!
We often do not realise how much positive impact we ourselves have on our lives. We are too influenced by external circumstances and become too dependent on what is handed to us. Because we no longer believe in our own strengths, we lose some of our resilience and self-confidence. And then we become insecure and we get mentally and psychologically out of balance. After all, we have not learned to keep going, we only allow easy things into our lives. Things that are more difficult we deliberately avoid, we don't learn to deal with setbacks, frustration, anger, heartbreak... All things belong to life and ultimately make us stronger.
But our society is hard and you can only find your way when you learn to develop willpower and create small good habits that help you to be stronger in life. They help you to create more self-confidence.
By incorporating those small good habits or learning to discipline yourself, you will also create certain chemicals in your body. Simon Sinek calls them' happy chemicals', which help improve your health, both mentally and physically.
For me, self-disicpline is also a piece of 'corporate social responsibility'. First invest in yourself. Only when you are in balance yourself, mentally and physically, can you also mean something to your environment, your family or your colleagues at work.
Five tips that can help you on your way:
1. Create a simple step-by-step planStart by setting a few goals for yourself and draw up a plan. Also think very carefully about the 'why'. Why do you want to achieve that goal?
For example: you want to lose 10 kg. Write down your plan and create a timeline. Be realistic, change takes time. Divide it into small steps that are feasible. It is important that it is your goal (and not your partner's, for example), you really have to want it. Otherwise it will not work.
2. Create a vision board
Visualize how you will feel when you're 10 kg lighter. And act as if you have already achieved your goal. Continue moving as if you are already 10 kg lighter. Visualize this not only in your head but make a picture board of what you will look like. Post pictures on your computer, tape one on your bathroom mirror or take some pictures with you in your wallet.
Free three times a day for a few minutes, when you close your eyes and imagine what your life will look like when you reach your goal. See how you will shine and how proud you will be. Visualize the final result continuously. This will help you to maintain good habits. Getting out of bed at five o' clock in the morning remains very difficult for me. But when I then think about how good I will feel and how much energy I will generate, then I find it much easier to get up anyway.
3. Carefully select your tribe
Surround yourself with people who encourage and appreciate you for the small successes you have achieved. Your environment is extremely important. Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed and want you to grow into a happy and successful person. Most of the time, these are people who are in balance themselves and who have built up a healthy dose of self-confidence. People who wrestle themselves will be more likely to be jealous and will not be able to sincerely support you.
4. Expected difficulties
You can only gain self-confidence and be proud of yourself if you also manage to overcome difficulties. Or if you do things even if you don't feel like doing things. See each obstacle as a blessing that will help you make yourself more resilient on your way to personal success. I am thankful that I went through a very difficult journey when I was young because this made me who I am now. So don't give up and know that nothing happens automatically in life. Every person who has reached a certain level has also paid a price for this.
5. Appreciate yourself
Occasionally take a moment to be thankful for what you have already achieved and to celebrate the small steps you have taken so far. Do not compare yourself with others, only yourself. You have a lot of talent and carry a lot of potential in you. Learn to see this and to invest in it. Dare to be proud of yourself.
Conclusion
You too can grow into a happy, healthy and successful individual! Everything has to do with the creation of good habits, certain rituals, step by step.And this is not at all difficult, it only takes time.
Society often makes us believe that short-cuts are a solution to achieve something quickly. In some cases this may be possible, but these results are not sustainable because you have not learned how to achieve this step by step. And so you fall back into your old pattern before you know it.
Start with small successes, which strengthen your self-confidence and bring you into a positive spiral. And so you build a healthy self-image.
Self-confidence, self-discipline and gratitude are the foundations to become a happy and successful person.
Would you like more practical tips? Then read my book 'Durf, leef en onderneem' published by Davidsfonds or surf to nathaliearteel.com.
Nathalie Arteel
